Those closest to me know that food is an integral part of my love language. If you are in my home, I want to cook for you. I remember traveling to England with my parents and visiting my auntie who hand picked vegetables from her garden to create a nourishing meal for us. While it took longer to satiate our appetites as she stood in her kitchen peeling and prepping each side dish, I craved this way of eating rather than the fast food version we had become so accustomed to. There is nothing more comforting than having family and friends gathered around the table eating home cooked meals. It's a bonus if I'm the one cooking! Sunday night dinners as a child were often at my grandparent's home and if I close my eyes I can still smell lamb chops and Yorkshire pudd cooking in my Nana's kitchen. My Mom would stand around the oven with my Nana chitchatting while we were playing in the other room. Laughter and delicious food at my grandparents' home are among my most cherished memories. This is when I felt the most loved as a child.
I understand that people have varying relationships with food. Some may eat to survive with little attachment involved - only when their body needs it. Some may eat for comfort - to calm an already taxed nervous system. Or, maybe food provides structure and eating is done in a more regimented way - diet culture and its demands rule the relationship. I am going to invite you to step away from your personal relationship with food, your preconceived notions of why and how we should eat, and read this post with an open mind. What if food didn't have a negative emotional attachment or meaning? What if food is just a way of nourishing our bodies and loving ourselves?
Back to the beginning.
As babies, we had zero opinions about what we wanted to eat. We just knew we had to eat in order to survive. Even this topic can become controversial - formula-fed versus nursing. It's exhausting how everything can become a debate or heated topic. I have close friends who bottle fed their babies using formula and their little ones are thriving and healthy today. I also have close friends who nursed their babies for over two years and their little ones are also doing wonderfully. My point is - a fed baby is a happy baby. Can you break down what is healthier for a child? Perhaps. If you are interested in empirical research to support what is healthiest for a baby, I can point you in that direction. But that's not the purpose of this post. As a child, you needed to eat. Period.
I listened to a Podcast recently that shared that we as parents should never punish our children when it comes to food. For instance, if you don't eat your broccoli, you won't get to watch TV. I have to admit that I have done this with my own kids. My favorite was always no scoop of honey before bed if you don't finish at least three more bites of dinner. However, this is where children begin to have a negative relationship with food. What if we didn't talk about food with our little ones at all? What if we just gave them healthy meals and left it at that? That doesn't mean stop parenting to the point of letting them play with their food or throw it across the table, but hopefully you understand my point. If you want to learn more about integrating conscious parenting with feeding your children, I highly recommend listening to The Freely Rooted podcast hosted by Kori Meloy of Rewild and Fallon Denae Lee of Fallon's Table.
Back to the topic at hand though - your relationship with food. We have established that we were born with no opinions on food, so why can't we see food the same way when we are adults? When our parents fed us as children, they were loving us and taking care of us. So, let's do the same for ourselves as adults. Personally, I have spent years trying to adjust my diet to treat whatever ailment I was facing. While I inevitably would feel better in one area, another challenge would present itself. For that reason, I have tried to stop putting rules around food. Let me explain.
For many years, I was dairy free. Due to sensitivities and allergies, I cut out dairy from my life in an effort to minimize inflammation in my body. I would eat out at restaurants fearful that I would be dairy'd and get very sick. However, by adding in nut milks and other dairy alternatives, over time my body actually became more inflamed. Again, this might not be your journey; but for me, I had to slowly introduce dairy back into my life in an effort to heal. Having all of the rules surrounding food - don't eat before 10am, don't eat any dairy products, don't eat heavy meals at night or before bedtime, etc. - actually caused me to live in fear of many foods for so long and I decided it was time for a change. Honestly, I still can't eat gluten and I am not sure that will ever change. However, I am less restrictive in all other areas. Nighttime snacks are something that makes me happy. Now if I am hungry, I have a little something. I also stopped all restrictive rules such as fasting. Fasting led to more adrenal fatigue and stress on my body. Therefore, I eat first thing in the morning and I feel better! It is so freeing to take away all of the rules we have become accustomed to because society tells us it's healthier for our bodies.
Some rules are needed.
Okay, bare with me as you think I might be contradicting myself here, but I do feel some rules are needed surrounding food. In the same way children need some boundaries and discipline, we might need a little bit when it comes to food. For instance, eating a bag of cheesy puffs every night before bed with a bottle of wine might not be the healthiest choice. Or, having three big bowls of sugary cereal every morning might not be the best way to start your day. Some of you might have serious allergies when it comes to foods and need to avoid them completely. The post about potentially healing food allergies can come later, but not today. Do all things with grace. Make healthy choices when it comes to what you eat and how you feed your family. And if you decide to have a banana split sundae as a treat, enjoy it. Don't beat yourself up. For God's sake my friends, put the bat down! If there's anything the last few years have taught all of us is that life is short and we are bombarded with stressful situations daily - why should food and nourishing our bodies be one of them?
What is food freedom?
To put it simply, food freedom is eating without restriction. To some, it means stepping away from diet culture and eating whatever you want. To others, it means, eating foods that nourish your body. Or, embracing intuitive or mindful eating. To me, it means focusing on homemade meals from mostly organic foods with an emphasis on metabolic healing. And to many, it means stress-free eating. Whatever your path may be, I pray you enjoy your food and your body is grateful for the choices you make. That you holistically reap the benefits of eating healthily - mind, body and spirit. My other hope for you is that you experience food freedom. That you are less worried about the calories of a meal or the way it fits into a Paleo or Keto lifestyle and more interested in where your food comes from and how it has been prepared. If you are shopping down the middle aisles of a grocery story and the majority of ingredients are things you can't pronounce or have never heard of, will this make you feel good? When you eat fast food, you may be initially satisfied but how does your body feel a few hours later? Personally, I want to eat things that will make my body thrive, enhance my mental and spiritual health and bring joy to my life.
Why food freedom is love.
The foundation of every decision surrounding food should be love. We have established that food should no longer control you and that diet culture and restrictions should no longer play a part in what you eat. Instead, these choices should be made from a place of love. What will nourish your body? In the same way a parent feeds a child food that will keep them healthy and strong, adults should do the same. In the same way that a parent feeding their child is an aspect of loving them, it should be the same with adults. Taking care of your body is loving yourself. Making sure you have eaten enough and aren't starving is loving yourself. We all deserve love. Therefore, we all deserve healthy food choices as well. Understanding nutrition and what foods are healthier than others can lead to better decisions surrounding what we eat.
I will spend a lot of time sharing things I have learned, incorporating recipes and inviting you to take a step back and ask yourself if you are being loving to yourself when it comes to your food choices. I realize that for many of you, food freedom might be a leap and that's okay. Remember, the most important thing is to give yourself grace. The purpose of this journey is not perfection, but to always seek to improve. And if you need help, ask for it. For you, that might mean therapy. Or, you might hire a nutritionist or a health coach like myself. Or, you might just stop after reading this and give yourself time to digest the meaning of food freedom and what that means to you. Whatever your journey may be, I pray you discover that this is one more area of your life where love can be found.
"What you eat literally becomes you. You have a choice in what you're made of." ~Anonymous
xo,
Kimberly
***Side note, if you have any allergies, please do not take this post as an open invitation to try nuts, dairy, etc. if you have already been advised by a doctor to avoid them. Only you know your body and what you can and cannot eat. Secondly, if you have a true eating disorder, I encourage you to seek treatment from a professional so you too can find food freedom.
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